free as a bird.

ok first post totally downplayed my affection for this country, in the 4 days i have been here, Costa Rica has played an intense role on my being...actually i would say that it started before i arrived here- it began the moment i decided to move abroad to teach English, but the fact that it has actually materialized into something has proven something to me: i'm quite brave [say that in a cute British accent because that's how i imagined it]

my whole life i've been pretty cautious, over thinking/analyzing everything. not much of a risk taker, i would generally do things i felt comfortable with and traveled paths that i knew others had trailed before me. and for the first time in my life i can say that i'm not doing that and well it's starting to become a bit of a habit, and i like it!

the action (since apparently moving to costa rica didn't do it for me) that made me realize that i've become a brave, spontaneous woman was going on a canopy tour near the beach. [brief canopy explanation: zip-lining through trees hundreds of feet above the ground...basically my body connected to a cable as gravity brings me from one tree to the next-look it up for visuals]

my dad was eager to do another activity aside from tan, so without really thinking i agreed to canopy. i guess my mom thought about it plenty since she decided not to come. after putting the proper equipment on us we rode a tractor with about 16 others high up a mountain. at the top of the mountain we're given our instructions in about 5 minutes. this is when it starts to hits me that everything i need to know while i'm going to be hanging hundreds of feet in the air is being told to me in 5 minutes, by a young kid with braces who uses our fear to poke fun. i double check that i understand.

[the whole time we're there, there is this 6 year old Brazilian chubby little girl. she is fearless and without her knowing her confidence reassures me that i am completely capable of doing this]

my heart was pounding. i was questioning everything that was told to me- place hand here and here. not in front. cross legs. this means slow down. this means keep coming. don't worry. just breathe.
and then i hear: "okay, you're first"
of course! in a group of 18 i'd be the first to go. i started to stutter. me? you're sure. i guess he was since he started clipping me up. all i kept saying was 'don't let go, don't let go- not yet, not yet'
then i positioned my hands, looked back at my father, and was gone. just like that.

it was the scariest most exhilarating thing i've ever done. in total i zip-lined to 13 trees. it was intense and after getting over the initial fear, i loved it. i was free as a bird. i can't wait to return.

talking about it today, my dad kept telling my mom how impressed he was with me for being so brave. when my mom asked me how i did it i said i didn't think about it until i got to the top of the mountain. this may seem like a nothing phrase to you, but this summarizes to me how i want to live my life- i don't want to worry about things before they happen, when the challenge presents itself then i'll have to react, but when i try to think of a reaction i just end up working myself up. i had no time to think, i just had to let go and glide. it really freed me. and now as i'm getting ready for my first day of work in costa rica, i'm not scared because i haven't gotten to the mountain [school] yet- i'll handle it when i get there.

did you ever see it coming?

my feet have officially touched down on Costa Rican soil. after months and months of preparation i can't believe it all actually happened. i'm really here. and this is my first blog from CR.

so far, it's not what i've expected. i guess i was expecting more green when i first got off the plane- although the landing was spectacular since we are surrounded by mountains. i always have a gut reflex when i see poverty since it is at a level that is not similar to american poverty. of course it makes me uncomfortable in the sense that i'm saddened by their conditions, coming from a country that is given and takes a lot. but the people are friendly and have high spirits and are not afraid to grace you with their kindness. and costa rica smells good. :)

i visited the school i'll be working at and it's simply amazing. it used to be a house owned by coffee plantation owners, but now its a school. it's still in construction, but what is established is quite impressive and beautiful. their entire outside electricity is powered by water- a waterfall to be exact...yup there is a waterfall behind my school and a mini rain forest. it's beautiful. my director is awesome and even though i'm scared to have my own class- i'm open to the challenges...i mean i did come to costa rica after all.

did you know: prostitution is legal in costa rica. i already saw some fatties working out a deal with these working girls downstairs from my hotel. and it's so sad and makes me wanna vomit. the concept disgusts me...not only that but i feel like it puts women who aren't prostitutes in an awkward position. i was warned not to look most guys in the eyes since thats a Pro thing to do and guys can take that as an invitation- yuck! no thank you.

while i am excited about being in costa rica, and do feel that this is where God has directed my life, i'm still trying to get over the sadness of leaving. it is always hard to say goodbye or 'see you later' (right ST?) and the ones i had to do were particularly rough. i have some of the most amazing people in my life and being apart from them is beyond difficult. but i love you all for your support, love, and understanding. even though i'm far, i'm still here [you get that right] i hope to continue to be a great friend to you all as you have been to me. you can't be replaced in my heart- that's for damn sure.
all i have to say is thank God for internet ...i was online a few hours after getting off the airplane. lucky me! so please- email me, send me pics, quotes, whatever. i just wanna feel the love.

con mucho amor.

inspire me:

"I beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything, live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

~Rainer Maria Rilke

recap.

1st February blog- whoa i've been slacking. but i'm back. and have plenty to share.

i'm moving to Costa Rica February 19th- crazy soon! as you can imagine there are a mix of emotions churning inside of me- and my stomach has been doing back flips for weeks because of the anxiety building up inside of me. but i am EXCITED. everyone keeps telling me how amazing this experience will be so i'm just waiting to go out and experience it- not knowing is always the hardest part.

the great news is: i have a job waiting for me once i get there! woohoo. that definitely takes a big weight off my chest. and if the school turns out to be as great as the website and everything else make it out to be, it will be so dope.

i just saw my family today and it was a pleasure to see how much they support me and see this as a significant move in my life. there was no negativity, just positive love and good wishes being spread around. i love when people can push their fears and paranoia's out of their mind for the joy of someone else.

also, for those lovers of: travel, the betterment of the human race, peace, and love...check out couchsurfing.com - i must say that this website has been a tremendous help for me in preparing for my journey abroad. i've connected with people in Costa Rica, both Costa Ricans and expatriates and found a community of people that are beyond willing to help me get acquainted with the country. they've offered me advice and friendship, which is invaluable at a time of transition such as this. i suggest you all check it out [and become my friend]. even if you don't have intentions of traveling or hosting people, it's great to connect with people that want to break the walls of difference and hate and unite all cultures.

inspire me:
“When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don’t know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in.”
~D.H. Lawrence

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.”
~Miriam Beard

paz y amor SIEMPRE.
j.mo