great expectations.

be careful of the expectations that you place in other people. i've always assumed that expectations are a sign of optimism and i still support that opinion. i don't want to spend my life with no expectations for my future. in some cases, my expectations are what keep me on point. focused.

however, whenever setting expectations, an expectation that that expectation may not be met is necessary. speaking too vague? let me try to clarify.

i have been blessed to have amazing people in my life, but even the closest people in your life are bound to disappoint- actually i'll even go so far as to say that the closest people in your life are most likely to disappoint. many people, myself included, place so much pressure on these people to be who we want them to be: loving, understanding, great friends, kind, good listeners, etc. when someone doesn't fulfill the end of the deal [in my opinion, all relationships have an (un)spoken contract based on respect, care, and whatever qualities you find important for your specific situation] we are left, disappointed- and with a feeling that in some way we were lied to/bamboozled. the most immediate reaction is to blame the other person, makes sense b/c they didn't hold up their end of the deal. in some ambiguous situations, most often dating situations, the problem with a scenario like this is people are never clear about what "deal" they are involved in and when both people are on different pages, disappointment is inevitable. however, in the case of the more clearly defined relationships, such as family or your closest friends, we reach a point where we feel like we don't have to define the needs in those relationships. and ultimately, it is this comfort that leads to a break in our expectations. we expect people to continue to play the role in our lives that they've always played and the moment they can't, the moment life takes a turn for them, our selfish instinct is to ask them not to change, for our sake. sometimes personal growth involves disappointing others. i can only hope that this is not an indefinite side effect, but it does seem to be a necessary evil.

so here i am, struggling to keep expectations down and recognizing we are only human: so if people will disappoint, i can at least throw a solitary pity party every now and then.