have you seen the Keri Hilson video for Turnin' Me On??! [ok this may be really late, but it's like impossible to watch video's these day's since reality tv dominates "music television"]
well let me first say that i LOVE that song. that is one of those songs that gets my hips pulsing and my booty shaking. i think it makes every girl feel sexy in a powerful sort of way. i definitely dig it.
but what i pictured for the video to be was um- well, not this. the beginning started out with potential- and don't get me wrong, i definitely dug that the dudes were the ones with shirts off, but i mean that wasn't enough. it was just too plain. i mean here she is talking about being a strong woman who doesn't need a man to take care of her, but she's not afraid to say that she wants a man. so a music video with a white background and her bopping in semi-baggy jeans is well- disappointing to say the least.
the best part: her rings!
i'll just stay listening to the song, but won't be youtubing it any time soon.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
sometimes, you can't do it alone.
if you could ask everyone one question...what would it be?
amigos i need your help. i need you all to brainstorm and come up with a question that you would want to ask complete strangers. i'm looking for questions that would provoke the thoughts of people and give them a chance to reveal something about themselves [maybe without them even realizing]...so no -yes or no- questions please. i have a little project i want to work on and would appreciate the help and insight of my peeps.
eventually i'll let you know where this goes- for now...place those thinking caps on your head and shoot me a line. gracias.
amor y respeto.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
i must be crazy.
listening to: ingrid michaelson & rachael yamagata
i saw revolutionary road tonight with the parents. i liked it a lot more than i thought i would. it brings up all sorts of complex themes [not going to list them...check the movie if you wanna know], and they put the machinery in my mind in motion.
at what point do we classify someone as being crazy? someone is crazy if they hear voices? if they have multiple personalities? if they see Jesus in their ice cream?...what about the times people have been called crazy for their ideas? this is the type of categorizing that disturbs me the most. in the film, the most honest, unconventional person was the "crazy" man- needing to receive electroshock therapy [which I despise- see film 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' for further proof] to "heal" him. this man told it like it was. he revealed the innermost thoughts and feelings that everyone refused to discuss out of fear of breaking proper conduct. when the couple decides that their life has become too mundane and expected, he is the only one who understands their need for dramatic change- to heighten their life experience. he gets it. but remember- he is also "crazy". does this mean that since they indulged in larger than life dreams they too were crazy?
...well let's bring that thought back to reality- is that so for all of us who don't want to live the cookie cut life? when we speak out of turn or discuss 'improper' matters are we crazy? sometimes expressing the pure emotions we feel on a daily basis is enough for people to think you've gone slightly insane. the way i see it- we're all kind of nuts. we speak and do irrational things. we laugh, cry, hate, love, freak out, understand, all in a span of 24 hours [not everyday- that would just be exhausting]. but having a few tricks in your bag only makes life a lot more diverse and fascinating...but i suppose it's not for everyone. so if the things i describe are not normal and make me out to be a looney tune then i'll happily take my place in line with the rest of the characters because that crazy life looks a lot more fulfilled than any sane one. :what's up doc?:
inspire me:
"It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when i completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy."
~Vincent Van Gogh~
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww' "
~Jack Kerouac~
paz y amor siempre.
i saw revolutionary road tonight with the parents. i liked it a lot more than i thought i would. it brings up all sorts of complex themes [not going to list them...check the movie if you wanna know], and they put the machinery in my mind in motion.
at what point do we classify someone as being crazy? someone is crazy if they hear voices? if they have multiple personalities? if they see Jesus in their ice cream?...what about the times people have been called crazy for their ideas? this is the type of categorizing that disturbs me the most. in the film, the most honest, unconventional person was the "crazy" man- needing to receive electroshock therapy [which I despise- see film 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest' for further proof] to "heal" him. this man told it like it was. he revealed the innermost thoughts and feelings that everyone refused to discuss out of fear of breaking proper conduct. when the couple decides that their life has become too mundane and expected, he is the only one who understands their need for dramatic change- to heighten their life experience. he gets it. but remember- he is also "crazy". does this mean that since they indulged in larger than life dreams they too were crazy?
...well let's bring that thought back to reality- is that so for all of us who don't want to live the cookie cut life? when we speak out of turn or discuss 'improper' matters are we crazy? sometimes expressing the pure emotions we feel on a daily basis is enough for people to think you've gone slightly insane. the way i see it- we're all kind of nuts. we speak and do irrational things. we laugh, cry, hate, love, freak out, understand, all in a span of 24 hours [not everyday- that would just be exhausting]. but having a few tricks in your bag only makes life a lot more diverse and fascinating...but i suppose it's not for everyone. so if the things i describe are not normal and make me out to be a looney tune then i'll happily take my place in line with the rest of the characters because that crazy life looks a lot more fulfilled than any sane one. :what's up doc?:
inspire me:
"It is only too true that a lot of artists are mentally ill- it's a life which, to put it mildly, makes one an outsider. I'm all right when i completely immerse myself in work, but I'll always remain half crazy."
~Vincent Van Gogh~
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww' "
~Jack Kerouac~
paz y amor siempre.
Monday, January 19, 2009
what do your tears look like?
listening to: julieta venegas
i'm on a emotional roller coaster [remember that song?!] well those are my sentiments exactly. the move is closer to being official- i won't say it is until i have purchased my ticket [but between you and me, we're looking at the 3rd week in february] and with all these emotions, come plenty of discussions- if you've been to my house you'd know my parents like to talk- a lot.
and i've found that i'm actually quite insightful when i'm speaking [too bad i can't capture it in writing :/ ] we started talking about life and relationships particularly within our family- and what do we do when we feel like we're drifting apart? see i've got a really close family, and though we have our crap, [like all do] we've kind of grown up together- so when one of us has growing pains, it affects us all. my dad lives in a house with 3 women so he has dealt with plenty of emotional drama [damn estrogen takes over]. but i've studied him and other men in my life and realized, guys aren't quick to cry, but they show their tears another way, with anger/frustration.
this is my theory: [this is not to be applied to situations such as death, illness, or things of that sort]
when a man sees a woman crying, it's an attack to his defenses. he doesn't know what to do or how to deal with the tears. right in front of him is a woman, being vulnerable, breaking down. he doesn't know if he's done something wrong, or how such a simple subject or word [at times] could drive a woman to tears. does he respond with tears? no. that's not natural to him. some may respond with affection [if that's the type of conversation it is], but when it's a debate or a combative exchange, he'll pull out his equivalent to tears- anger. this is not to say that he consciously does this, the way women don't always consciously cry, rather his frustration with the situation makes him angry at himself for not having the capability of facing a woman in tears. tears will scare someone, frustrate them. as an emotional woman i know my instinctive defense is tears- sometimes i don't know they're coming and especially don't want them to come. i hate letting the weakness through. but i can tell any man this- frustration will only make it worse. try another attempt, especially if that's what you feel coming on. me crying and you yelling = a road to nowhere.
this is not to say that i understand men, Lord knows i don't, but my dad said i hit on something so i have to be going somewhere in the right direction. and as one who hates generalizations- i know this is not always the way things are...just an observation.
inspire me:
"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again"
~Alex Tan
"Things have different qualities, and the soul different inclinations; for nothing is simple which is presented to the soul, and the soul never presents itself simply to any object. Hence it comes that we weep and laugh at the same thing"
~Blaise Pascal
paz,
j.mo
Sunday, January 18, 2009
if barack obama were your father...
the superb Barack Obama wrote a letter to his daughters where he shares what he wants for them and every child in America. gosh i love him.
Dear Malia and Sasha,
I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.
I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.
I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.
Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.
That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.
She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.
I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.
These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.
I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.
Dear Malia and Sasha,
I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.
I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.
I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.
Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.
 Sasha (l) and Malia Obama at play in New Hampshire in 2007. |
 Bumper cars at the Iowa State Fair in August 2007. |
She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.
I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.
These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.
I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.
Love, Dad
you're coming in loud and CLEAR
listening to: In The Heights soundtrack (until I kept singing and couldn't focus on what I was writing)
so i just got home from church...and the message was so good that i had to blog!
obviously everyone is going through a lot of difficult times right now. the recession has people hurting. most of my friends can't find a job that is worth their college degree. and it seems like everyday you turn on the t.v. just to hear about people who are too busy comparing the sizes of their guns/rockets/grenades that they don't realize all the pain and destruction they're causing. whatever your struggle, the point is that you have one- we all do.
today's sermon focused particularly on people facing problems who are at the point where they are ready to give up. i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about.
this has been happening a lot more frequently with me, especially in preparation for my big move to Costa Rica. whenever there has been doubt, fear, or nay-sayers, i've looked at it as possible signs from God that i'm making the wrong move. the problem is that lately i've been looking at everything as a sign, which as you can imagine, has me very conflicted. anxiety with a big decision like this is to be expected, but i can't let it knock me off my wagon.
my pastor said, times will be hard, challenges will be thrown your way, but don't for a minute think you're alone in the struggle...and no matter what DON'T GIVE UP because there is a plan for your life.
see there's something i've got that i know is hard for everyone to understand- and that's faith. [i'm not trying to impose my views on anyone- just sharing my beliefs] the faith i have tells me that even though i'm 'technically' going to be living in Costa Rica alone, i really won't be because i know that God is there as my protector. [kinda like a bigger and better Arnold Schwarzenegger]
i couldn't have heard this at a better time. i had really been wondering if this whole Costa Rica thing was for me, but now i'm certain that it is. "Are we going to respond in fear or in faith?" my pastor asked... i choose faith.
Be content with what you have, for God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."
Hebrews 13: 5-6
Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see.
- William Newton Clark
paz.
j.mo
so i just got home from church...and the message was so good that i had to blog!
obviously everyone is going through a lot of difficult times right now. the recession has people hurting. most of my friends can't find a job that is worth their college degree. and it seems like everyday you turn on the t.v. just to hear about people who are too busy comparing the sizes of their guns/rockets/grenades that they don't realize all the pain and destruction they're causing. whatever your struggle, the point is that you have one- we all do.
today's sermon focused particularly on people facing problems who are at the point where they are ready to give up. i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about.
this has been happening a lot more frequently with me, especially in preparation for my big move to Costa Rica. whenever there has been doubt, fear, or nay-sayers, i've looked at it as possible signs from God that i'm making the wrong move. the problem is that lately i've been looking at everything as a sign, which as you can imagine, has me very conflicted. anxiety with a big decision like this is to be expected, but i can't let it knock me off my wagon.
my pastor said, times will be hard, challenges will be thrown your way, but don't for a minute think you're alone in the struggle...and no matter what DON'T GIVE UP because there is a plan for your life.
see there's something i've got that i know is hard for everyone to understand- and that's faith. [i'm not trying to impose my views on anyone- just sharing my beliefs] the faith i have tells me that even though i'm 'technically' going to be living in Costa Rica alone, i really won't be because i know that God is there as my protector. [kinda like a bigger and better Arnold Schwarzenegger]
i couldn't have heard this at a better time. i had really been wondering if this whole Costa Rica thing was for me, but now i'm certain that it is. "Are we going to respond in fear or in faith?" my pastor asked... i choose faith.
Be content with what you have, for God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid."
Hebrews 13: 5-6
Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see.
- William Newton Clark
paz.
j.mo
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
you can't spell free with fear
listening to: ray lamontagne playlist
well, it's actually happening... after months and months of trying to go teach English abroad, i'm FINALLY setting up to make the big move.
where to? [drum roll please]... off to pursue la pura vida en Costa Rica!
after reading multiple posts/blogs/forums that have said the best way to get a job in Costa Rica is to be there in person- I've decided to follow up on this and see where it leads me. I really didn't want to leave home without securing a job overseas, but that idea has been thrown out the window. this is my last chance effort to teach abroad and i'm *praying* it happens for me.
for those who know me, you know this has been a long road for me having decided months before my college graduation that this is what I wanted to do upon graduation. it's just taken me a heck of a lot longer than I had expected. and of course, the inevitable has happened [which i was afraid of] i've gotten comfortable- and thus the fear has a firm grip on me. BUT i'm determined not to let that any of that affect me [too much!]
so this is the plan: i've got ONE month to make it happen. my father and i are leaving to costa rica in february [i haven't booked the flight yet]. he's staying with me for one week to get a feel for where i'll be staying and the schools i'll be checking out. in this time i'll be going on interviews and i've got one month to find a job. if i don't, it's back on a plane for me and this dream of living abroad is done [for the time being of course!]...but i'm a planner so i've got it mapped out. i've got lists of schools, names, numbers, areas to live- if i want this to happen then I gotta give it my all.
but in truth, everyday i have to remind myself to breathe. i've never been out on my own. this is my stake of independence, looking fear in its eyes and in my true fashion, i couldn't just do it on a small scale- big dreams, ALWAYS. and if this doesn't happen for me, i know i'll be sad, but at the end i know it's not really up to me- it's in God's hands, has been since the very first day... just got to be patient and listen up. [see i'm still practicing my listening]
there is no doubt that i'm fearful, but that's what life is about sometimes- doing the things that your stomach does backflips over.
i remember reading a quote from some actress where she said that every day she wants to do at least one thing that scares the sh*t out of her- maybe this move will make up for all the times i played it safe.
inspiration:
"It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work."
"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."
~ The Alchemist
paz.
well, it's actually happening... after months and months of trying to go teach English abroad, i'm FINALLY setting up to make the big move.
where to? [drum roll please]... off to pursue la pura vida en Costa Rica!
after reading multiple posts/blogs/forums that have said the best way to get a job in Costa Rica is to be there in person- I've decided to follow up on this and see where it leads me. I really didn't want to leave home without securing a job overseas, but that idea has been thrown out the window. this is my last chance effort to teach abroad and i'm *praying* it happens for me.
for those who know me, you know this has been a long road for me having decided months before my college graduation that this is what I wanted to do upon graduation. it's just taken me a heck of a lot longer than I had expected. and of course, the inevitable has happened [which i was afraid of] i've gotten comfortable- and thus the fear has a firm grip on me. BUT i'm determined not to let that any of that affect me [too much!]
so this is the plan: i've got ONE month to make it happen. my father and i are leaving to costa rica in february [i haven't booked the flight yet]. he's staying with me for one week to get a feel for where i'll be staying and the schools i'll be checking out. in this time i'll be going on interviews and i've got one month to find a job. if i don't, it's back on a plane for me and this dream of living abroad is done [for the time being of course!]...but i'm a planner so i've got it mapped out. i've got lists of schools, names, numbers, areas to live- if i want this to happen then I gotta give it my all.
but in truth, everyday i have to remind myself to breathe. i've never been out on my own. this is my stake of independence, looking fear in its eyes and in my true fashion, i couldn't just do it on a small scale- big dreams, ALWAYS. and if this doesn't happen for me, i know i'll be sad, but at the end i know it's not really up to me- it's in God's hands, has been since the very first day... just got to be patient and listen up. [see i'm still practicing my listening]
there is no doubt that i'm fearful, but that's what life is about sometimes- doing the things that your stomach does backflips over.
i remember reading a quote from some actress where she said that every day she wants to do at least one thing that scares the sh*t out of her- maybe this move will make up for all the times i played it safe.
inspiration:
"It was my fear of failure that first kept me from attempting the master work."
"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."
~ The Alchemist
paz.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
country(wo)men, lend me your ears!
today was a special day. today i got to hang out with my sister. it's not like i don't see her often, she only lives 15 minutes away...but it was a much needed catch up session. [i'm also feeling a lil sappy lately]
at dinner with my sister, [at the great hampton chutney on the upper west side] she said something that got me thinking. of course we love to talk about interpersonal relations since her and i are incredibly interested in people [what makes them tick, what they think, how they live (etc.)] anywho- we got on the topic of people and their interest in others, particularly in the role certain people have played in our lives. the idea was raised that: not enough people listen because they are too busy talking.
of course this got me thinking about me [sorry, this is my blog] and if i've been a good EAR to others. i would like to think that i've been a good listener to people who've come to me to talk, but i know that i'm also a 'fix-it' girl, so sometimes i tend to open my mouth to try and fix the dilemma. i remember years ago when my sister was confiding in me about something and i began giving her advice and she quickly shut me up to say she didn't want advice- she just wanted me to listen. at first, this completely offended me, but later i realized how true that is for so many people. there are plenty of problems that i'll unfortunately never be able to fix [which really bothers me- grrrr], but sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is listen.
emotional release is completely therapeutic. so giving a friend your ear is like giving them a free therapy session [and in recession time, who doesn't want anything free?!]
as it turns out, listening isn't the easiest thing to do. it's not really about being quiet while the other person talks. to be a good listener you have to care. if you don't care about the person or what they're saying, you can't really say you're listening because eventually you're bound to zone out. asking questions is also important of a good listener [no one wants a mute], show your interest by asking questions which will get the other person to feel at ease and in a state where they are really getting the attention they need. also, the person you're speaking to may just talk very superficially without getting to the heart of the problem to see if you care to hear it [i've done this before], so if you're genuine about listening we'll know by your level of interest and questions. and the big thing i've learned from my sister- never assume you know, because most likely- you don't!
to all the special people in my life: i hope i'm being a great listener for you and if not- show me how. i promise i won't be too offended [trust me if i am, i'll get over it]. in the end i'll really thank you for your patience and for showing me how to open my ears and shut my mouth. listening is really a vital tool i don't want to walk around the world without
inspire me:
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant"
~ Robert McCloskey
"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."
[Couldn't have said it better myself! ~ that one is dedicated to my Big Nutbrown Hare]
much love, j.mo
at dinner with my sister, [at the great hampton chutney on the upper west side] she said something that got me thinking. of course we love to talk about interpersonal relations since her and i are incredibly interested in people [what makes them tick, what they think, how they live (etc.)] anywho- we got on the topic of people and their interest in others, particularly in the role certain people have played in our lives. the idea was raised that: not enough people listen because they are too busy talking.
of course this got me thinking about me [sorry, this is my blog] and if i've been a good EAR to others. i would like to think that i've been a good listener to people who've come to me to talk, but i know that i'm also a 'fix-it' girl, so sometimes i tend to open my mouth to try and fix the dilemma. i remember years ago when my sister was confiding in me about something and i began giving her advice and she quickly shut me up to say she didn't want advice- she just wanted me to listen. at first, this completely offended me, but later i realized how true that is for so many people. there are plenty of problems that i'll unfortunately never be able to fix [which really bothers me- grrrr], but sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is listen.
emotional release is completely therapeutic. so giving a friend your ear is like giving them a free therapy session [and in recession time, who doesn't want anything free?!]
as it turns out, listening isn't the easiest thing to do. it's not really about being quiet while the other person talks. to be a good listener you have to care. if you don't care about the person or what they're saying, you can't really say you're listening because eventually you're bound to zone out. asking questions is also important of a good listener [no one wants a mute], show your interest by asking questions which will get the other person to feel at ease and in a state where they are really getting the attention they need. also, the person you're speaking to may just talk very superficially without getting to the heart of the problem to see if you care to hear it [i've done this before], so if you're genuine about listening we'll know by your level of interest and questions. and the big thing i've learned from my sister- never assume you know, because most likely- you don't!
to all the special people in my life: i hope i'm being a great listener for you and if not- show me how. i promise i won't be too offended [trust me if i am, i'll get over it]. in the end i'll really thank you for your patience and for showing me how to open my ears and shut my mouth. listening is really a vital tool i don't want to walk around the world without
inspire me:
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant"
~ Robert McCloskey
"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."
[Couldn't have said it better myself! ~ that one is dedicated to my Big Nutbrown Hare]
much love, j.mo
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
don't call it a comeback.
another year. time to post.
i fell off with my blogging for a while, not because i didn't want to, but because i never felt like i had anything worthy to put in this space. a good friend helped me realize i need to give myself more credit and just write (thanks fandango!)
last night I went to a poetry performance (shout out to Ceiba for a job well done) and was reminded how much i love to be in an environment full of ideas, words, and emotions. those are the places that inspire me and give me a kick in the butt to get create and never stop creating.
see folks, i like to think of myself as an artist, a filmmaker, a writer, an idealistic visionary. when i look at what i've done with my time and creativity- i'm disappointed. i need to look at every day and every opportunity as a defining moment in my pursuit. i'm in pursuit of what it is that sets me apart from the rest of the world- what defines me- what makes me me.
in the new year i want to be rid of distractions. if you're not helping me in my growth then you're just working against it. [no bueno] time to hold myself accountable. be disciplined, dedicated, and true. and of course i gotta write. write til my hands hurt and the words look like they're spelled wrong.
"if i break apart in front of you, i was really regaining my sanity"
~ quote from one of the many great poems last night.
i fell off with my blogging for a while, not because i didn't want to, but because i never felt like i had anything worthy to put in this space. a good friend helped me realize i need to give myself more credit and just write (thanks fandango!)
last night I went to a poetry performance (shout out to Ceiba for a job well done) and was reminded how much i love to be in an environment full of ideas, words, and emotions. those are the places that inspire me and give me a kick in the butt to get create and never stop creating.
see folks, i like to think of myself as an artist, a filmmaker, a writer, an idealistic visionary. when i look at what i've done with my time and creativity- i'm disappointed. i need to look at every day and every opportunity as a defining moment in my pursuit. i'm in pursuit of what it is that sets me apart from the rest of the world- what defines me- what makes me me.
in the new year i want to be rid of distractions. if you're not helping me in my growth then you're just working against it. [no bueno] time to hold myself accountable. be disciplined, dedicated, and true. and of course i gotta write. write til my hands hurt and the words look like they're spelled wrong.
"if i break apart in front of you, i was really regaining my sanity"
~ quote from one of the many great poems last night.
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